woMAN ... It's THE SAME.

  When talking about sexism, homophobia or discrimination, most people would raise their voices against the gender discrimination that women are suffering from. They, I mean most of us, would shout and ask from the society to stop considering women as sex machines, slaves or “men’s puppy”.
Yet, going away from all of these “mainstream” topics, I chose to bring on a topic that the majority of the society is ignoring most of the time. Today, I am talking about gender discrimination against men and the horrible false definition of manhood and masculinity worldwide. Today, I am not going to go deep into detailed examples of false misconceptions about all men. I am actually going to talk about a percentage of men, who are suffering from the hardest judgment concerning their “masculinity”.
Thank you Javi.
Masculinity square is the issue that every guy is suffering from nowadays. It is the social standard that controls men’s attitude, look and strength. Society is simply putting all of the men in the masculinity square that disregards the fact that men are being raped, called “faggots” and domestically abused every single minute.  Boys, no matter what age they are commonly considered as sex-monsters who won’t feel bad or offended if raped. Instead the myth says that they would rather enjoy it and take advantage of it.
Andrew Bailey is actually the best example about what’s happening to men every day. As a British writer and a comedian, Andrew was raped and all what he got from the society was sarcasm and bigotry. As an answer he wrote a monologue called: “Why rape is sincerely hilarious to dudes”. His monologue was sarcastically criticizing the mental and physical oppression that the society is enforcing upon what is means to be a man.
It’s commonly believed that women are the only victims of domestic violence. However, statistics have shown that in 2010, the CDC stated that 40% of domestic violence victims were men. This is not the central problem, the issue is that men are likely to be ridiculed by both of the society and law. Due to the belief, men have the higher power when it comes to relationships. That’s why men will not report their case that will question their masculinity and bring them shame for the rest of their life. In the words of ANN ARNETT FERGUSON[1] who discusses the society’s misconceptions saying that “Boys will be boys: they are mischievous, they get into trouble, they can stand for themselves.’



“That’s so gay.” Said 1,579,050 times on twitter the last month.
“Look at her, she’s such a dyke.” Said 134,760 times on twitter the last month.
“Stop being a Fag.” Said 389,170 times on twitter this month[2].
How many of us have ever heard this??? I am sure that the majority of us have ever heard at least one of these homophobic terms.  All of the numbers listed above actually are still increasing day by day. People are sadly not caring about their language anymore.
Last year, 9 out of 10 LGBTQ students reported being a victim of verbal harassment. And over 1/3 were physically assaulted. We live in a society in which we have accepted the use of derogatory terms as a joke. It’s simply allowed to make fun of someone because of his sexual orientation and/or sexual identity. The use of facilities is also one of the other difficulty for transgender men for example.         
Two weeks ago I watched an important documentary called “Toilet Training” initiated by Tara Mateik who succeeded to show  how a small silly symbol on a toilet front door can define people’s genders and leads them to be in the wrong place. Which can sometimes, be harmful and unsafe for them physically and psychologically.

That’s exactly why I wanted to share with you this picture. WoMAN are the same in suffering, in oppression, in discrimination and in social misconceptions. By speaking for our rights as women, we should never neglect the fact that our there, there are billions of men who are in a permanent pain caused by their society. We should all learn how to accept each other in terms of identities and sexual orientation because at the end of the day, who you are is what really matters. Just like RAEWN W.CONNEL[3] examined, the fact of globally defining masculinity cannot be completed without the interaction with femininity. CONNEL argues that the globalized definition of manhood by the muscled body shape and the ability to do hard work. 

To wrap up I would like from everyone reading this, starting from myself, to sign a personal pledge to be a supportive ally to anyone no matter what identity he chose to embrace. My pledge is to never oppress anyone and say homophobic words. And to take it further, let’s all pledge to EDUCATE people who are still unaware of the danger of their homophobic acts.
“In other words, it is the responsibility of the oppressed to teach the oppressors their mistakes.” The great AUDRE LORDE.






[1] Naughty by Nature. P 435.
[2] WWW.thinkb4youspeak.com
[3] Chap4. Masculinity and Globalization. From Men and Masculinities, Volume 1/1999.

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